Wednesday, April 25, 2012

U for Unable to forgive her: #atozchallenge Fiction


Today's story starter (at the beginning of the story in bold) comes from the super-helpful blogger friend Jocelyn Rish and the photo from Joseph. W. Richardson, an amazing writer and photographer I came across during this challenge.
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Unable to forgive her, he walked out to the lakeside, to watch a pale sun set amidst the bare branches of autumn.

They had bought this place beside the lake dreaming of weekends there, planning an extension when the children came, a boat to take them on rides and a short jetty where they would moor it after a long day out on the water.

He breathed in the chilled air, and the heaviness that is the curse of cold evenings settled upon his heart, slowing his limbs as he walked, filling him with a longing for a warm fire, mulled wine between his palms, her sigh upon his neck, reassuring, content.


He walked back to the log cabin, but instead of driving off after a final goodbye as he had intended, he found himself shoving open the door, and walking in. He switched on the lights and looked around---throughout her long illness, she had added touches here and there, in the bric-a-brac and paintings she had picked during their travels, their framed pictures in which their faces glowed with the conviction of happily ever after. Only she left before her time. Twenty-nine made no sense-- she should have waited to turn thirty. She should never have left. 

His eyes cloaked in mist, he dragged the bean bag near the fire place, turned it on, and settled back. As the warmth seeped into his blood, he inhaled her fragrance that lingered in the air. He closed his eyes and saw her as she was, smiling, full of life even when angry or sad. Maybe she had lived squeezed in more years in the ones she lived, after all.

He pushed himself up on his feet, walked across to the kitchen to make himself a drink, something warm to hold between his palms. He was going to stay the night.
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A to Z Stories of Life and Death
If you liked this story you might like some of the stories I wrote for my A to Z last year

Blogging from A to Z Challenge Reflections Posts of 2012 will start on Monday May 7th.  The Linky list will go up on that day so you can enter the link for that post on the list.

You can tell us what you thought were the highlights of your April Challenge, what you learned, what changes you might make next time, or what surprised you most.   Let us know about special bloggers you met in your A to Z journey or about a post or posts that especially moved or impressed you.  There are no limits as to what your Challenge experience might have been so tell us in your best way how you felt about the April A to Z Challenge of 2012.  


27 comments:

  1. Initially I thought the "she" in question had cheated on him and that is why he was unable to forgive her. Nice to see that you struck out on a different path. There was so much more of a mixture of emotions: nostalgia, anger, sadness.

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  2. I loved your story. I too thought the lady had cheated on him. How sad that fate had cheated him of her presence instead. Brilliant.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  3. One of my favourites of yours so far...I'm a sucker for love lost before it's time.

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  4. Oooo... I really enjoy your writing... you create a mood with nice description. All very great. :)

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  5. What a somber and yet chilling mood. Well done.

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  6. I LOVED this one. So full of the many emotions felt from a love lost all too soon yet the ending was...appropos, sad with a hint of something positive.

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  7. One of my greatest worries is leaving too early... such a sad moment captured.

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  8. So sad! You're so good at description, i actually feel his pain.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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  9. Such a great mood here. I'm with Nutschell on the description. My favorite line:


    "...filling him with a longing for a warm fire, mulled wine between his palms, her sigh upon his neck, reassuring, content."

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  10. awww, you can feel his love for her, his sadness at her absence but threaded through the grief and the pain you wove in his deep love for her.

    Masterful

    *~ MAJK ~*
    Twitter @Safireblade
    A to Z Blog Challenge

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  11. Ah Damyanti, this is my style of writing. Love it.

    BTW, my writing group is emarking on a project much like the Rule of Three.

    Denise

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  12. So sad! Nice twist on the first line.

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  13. I think there is anger when a loved one dies, so you used that perfectly.

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  14. I love how simply you turn the story. I like to think that she had squeezed in plenty more than twenty-nine.

    Again, magic.

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  15. So very sad! I love the contrast between cold and warmth throughout the story.

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  16. Thanks for all the lovely comments---I don't do love very well, but seems like this one came through.

    The contrast between cold and warm was deliberate, as was the positive note on which this one ended. I've been told I'm scaring and turning off people with my dark imagination in my A-Z series.

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  17. Nice twist to the story!

    Our a to z challenge is at

    http:/Ladysknight.wordpress.com

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  18. Sad and lovely writing. Just catching up.

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  19. So sad...having lost my husband of 19 years in 2004, I completely understand.

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  20. Another winner. It's sad, but also hopeful. You can tell he's going to be okay.

    I also wanted to thank you for your supportive comments on my post yesterday - it really helped lift my spirits.

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  21. Privliged to read your beautifully knit creations through the challenge :)
    It amazes me how you can put so much of things, descriptions, moods, settings so crisply!

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  22. Beautiful and nostalgic... you can feel the heavy atmosphere ...

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  23. Great job! I like the ending line.

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