Tuesday, April 17, 2012

N for Nothing Could Stop Me: #atozchallenge fiction

 This intriguing photo was left me by Lauren S. and I decided to combine it with a story starter (below at the beginning of the story in bold) from Siv Maria. I went completely with my gut on this one, don't know why I chose one to go with the other, but here is the result:
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Nothing could stop me.

I had her where I wanted her, in my car, wide-eyed and breathless, eager to listen.

I had a gun cocked to her head, but that's just detail. 

Point was she had agreed I was good, I was handsome, and despite her running mascara, and the faint stench of her sweat, I found her believable. Her eyes spoke of love, as they must. I wasn't a down and out blagger any more, lonely for company.

I looked at the cap she had worn against the cold, I ran my finger on the shaking red lips, and her black jacket that shone in the light that came in from the car window. When I tugged at the coiled silver necklace about her throat, the tears on her face shone too.

 I did not know then about her left boot, and my dirty old sock in the subway of all places, where they fell out my bag as I ran a few errands around town, not wanting to take her along in the car boot all wrapped up in the trash bag. 

Her boot would be submitted to the police by some batshit Blahnik fan convinced the owner would offer a reward. They would recognize her as the owner, and the socks would lead them to me.

But at that moment, when her eyes still lived, when her soft, halting voice gave me the answers I wanted in the parking lot I had picked her from, I was handsome, I was good, and nothing could have stopped me.
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A to Z Stories of Life and Death
If you liked this story you might like some of the stories I wrote for my A to Z last year

As a co-host, I end with A to Z Challenge  reminders:
1. Turn off your word verification. It helps no one. You may moderate comments for a while if you're unsure.
2. In your comment id, link only to your AZ blog, NOT your profile which may have five other blogs.
3. Leave a link to you when you comment.
4. Comment when you visit blogs. Start visiting with the blog below you on the linky list.
5. Make it easy for people to follow your blog and follow you on social media.

19 comments:

  1. Fantastic. You're really great at flash pieces!

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  2. Okay, I want to know what happens next!

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  3. I think he's past the point of no return. Dark piece!

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  4. Hello.
    I belong to a group where several of the members are fantastic at writing flash. This is so vivid. Great suspense & intrigue. Thanks for sharing.

    I'm participating in the A-Z Challenge for the first time. Thanks for all you do. Here's my entry for "N": Neglected

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  5. Scary and dark story, He sounds revolting and she is terrified. Nice interpretation of the prompt.

    http://sulekharawat.com/2012/04/17/ode-to-my-hero/

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  6. scary--what a thought--nothing could have stopped him

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  7. Ohmigawsh. Ohmigawsh. Ohmigawsh.

    Visceral believable suck me in writing. I don't know if I want to bow to you or smack you upside the head.... both of which are darned good compliments, eh?

    Always enjoy reading your words.

    Julie Jordan Scott
    Fellow A to Z Challenge Writer
    twitter: @juliejordanscot
    O is for Octavia
    On a Mission to Spread Word-Love Throughout the World

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  8. Oh, that gave me a shiver! It's so hard to write from the villain point of view, but you did well--because HE of course, doesn't see himself as the villain.

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  9. Great flash fiction, don't you just love the challenge of writing tight?

    Well done.

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  10. Visiting as part of A-Z, and loved the story! It was chilling! I like writing short pieces like this too. I love your blog!
    Hannah

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  11. Woah, can you say "Stalker?!!" LOL. That is exactly what I was thinking while reading this story. Well, that and now you've made me want to watch an episode of Law and Order: SVU.

    What a crazy tale! Cheers ;)

    ~Nicole
    Blog: The Madlab Post
    -and-
    @MadlabPost on Twitter

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  12. Great story, and like your blog!

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  13. I get the impression that her acquiescence validated him... gave him the sense of worth, which he craved... even though it was fleeting...
    Another excellent piece!

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  14. But would she still find him desirable after he had a gun to her head? This one begs to be continued.

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  15. Great story that I wish continued so I caould know what happened next. I liked what you did with the challenge. Very creative.

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  16. Amazing how you imagined a hostage story from a picture of a boot and a sock! I'm in awe :) And creepy too...

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